"Well, you already got me a ferris wheel," he teases softly, pleased that Reid is sitting closer to him than to the other end of the couch. It's a dangerous thing to be pleased by, he realizes, something he should probably just let go. Having someone simply sit next to him isn't cause to read into anything, but Reid is here, close enough that Luke can feel the heat coming off his body, close enough for Luke to smell, and for the most part he very much likes being a werewolf, he's found the abilities he's gained to be more a help than a hindrance, but there are moments when it's difficult. Moments like this, when every nerve in his body is humming with energy, when every instinct is telling him to lean closer, to just sway a little bit, a simple shift of his upper body until his arm is pressed against Reid's.
But that's dangerous, too. Because a simple shift might lead to ducking his head, pressing his nose against the curve of Reid's neck, breathing him in. Swaying closer until their arms are pressed together might lead to craving more of that warmth that comes off him, the heat every last living thing carries with them, the feeling of which Luke has begun to crave desperately, though there's really only one person in particular who'll be able to deliver what he wants. It isn't as if the wolf makes him some wild animal, incapable of any kind of self-restraint. Luke has been attracted to people before without having to worry that he's going to lose control. He's a very controlled man most of the time and it feels like Reid is slowly undoing him bit by bit.
He listens to the story attentively, eating his cake, letting Reid tell the story. It's terrifying on any entirely different level than Luke's life has ever managed to be. Fighting demons is one thing, demons are so clearly evil, there's no purpose to them besides wanting to come into this world and destroy it, but people are so much more complicated than that. Even the ones who are capable of true evil -- and Luke believes they exist -- can hide their intentions with much better success than a demon can. And often there are reasons under the evil things people do, guilt and fear, and that doesn't excuse it, nothing can possibly excuse hurting others, but it makes it a little less scary than those who have no reason. Those who just want to cause pain, like the demons do.
"I can't imagine stories about your work are often very happy," Luke agrees, his voice soft, but he had known that when he had asked. It's incredible to him that anyone can do that sort of job, day in and day out, seeing the horrors people are capable of committing. It's such a far cry from what he's done, even if they are both dangerous in their own ways, simply because there's never any reason to doubt or worry when it comes to demons. There's no grey area, it's all black and white, made very clear. Except even that isn't entirely true, he thinks, smiling very slightly. Because he is part demon now. Simon, Magnus, Maia and Bat. All the wolves and warlocks he's known and those he's loved, they're all demons, too, through no fault of their own, and that's where the grey area begins.
Of course, he would be inclined to say wolves and warlocks, at least, are more human than demon. Sometimes he doesn't know if the same can be said for the vampires and the fey, not when they're often so willing to cast aside any pretense of care for humans, but that doesn't apply to everyone. Nothing can apply to an entire population, there are no hard and fast rules everyone will live by. The Fair Folk might come closest, with their inability to lie, but he knows they've found ways around that by mixing faery and human blood.
"But you found her," he says. "And you were safe." As far as Luke can determine, those really the most important things. Reid had done what he could to bring the girl home and he's still here to tell the tale, so Luke can't really look at the story as having an unhappy ending. Not when it's given him this.
"No," he says, still smiling. "No, I don't mind. A story from my dangerous job..." He trails off and is silent for a moment, thinking. With Valentine as his parabatai, there is really a countless number of stories he could tell, but he settles on one within a few moments.
"Valentine, the man who set me up to get bitten, before that all happened, he was still a bit of a zealot. In the beginning, when he wanted to hunt Downworlders, he would always tell us they'd done something awful. Broken the Accords in some way," he says, telling the story slowly, carefully. Knowing it doesn't cast him in the best light and telling it anyway. "Looking back now I realize he was lying to us, but I wanted so badly to have someone to follow and the Clave, the system he was railing against, it was corrupt. It still is." But they'd all been so wrong in the way in which they had gone about their attacks.
"He told us once that he found a group of werewolves who were living outside the Accords. Attacking other wolves, attacking vampires, attacking humans. He told us they were mostly teenagers, barely a fight at all. We were supposed to find their base and arrest them. Take them into the Clave for a trial and sentencing," Luke says. "But when we got there, the base was heavily guarded with dozens of adult male wolves. We should have retreated, but Valentine pushed us forward, made us attack. We weren't there to arrest anyone and he knew it from the start. It was a brutal fight, but it was short. At the end all the wolves were dead and we'd lost four Shadowhunters, too. He had dragged us into that situation knowing some of us were going to die." Luke pauses, then looks at his cake. "That's when I realized what he was doing to us."
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But that's dangerous, too. Because a simple shift might lead to ducking his head, pressing his nose against the curve of Reid's neck, breathing him in. Swaying closer until their arms are pressed together might lead to craving more of that warmth that comes off him, the heat every last living thing carries with them, the feeling of which Luke has begun to crave desperately, though there's really only one person in particular who'll be able to deliver what he wants. It isn't as if the wolf makes him some wild animal, incapable of any kind of self-restraint. Luke has been attracted to people before without having to worry that he's going to lose control. He's a very controlled man most of the time and it feels like Reid is slowly undoing him bit by bit.
He listens to the story attentively, eating his cake, letting Reid tell the story. It's terrifying on any entirely different level than Luke's life has ever managed to be. Fighting demons is one thing, demons are so clearly evil, there's no purpose to them besides wanting to come into this world and destroy it, but people are so much more complicated than that. Even the ones who are capable of true evil -- and Luke believes they exist -- can hide their intentions with much better success than a demon can. And often there are reasons under the evil things people do, guilt and fear, and that doesn't excuse it, nothing can possibly excuse hurting others, but it makes it a little less scary than those who have no reason. Those who just want to cause pain, like the demons do.
"I can't imagine stories about your work are often very happy," Luke agrees, his voice soft, but he had known that when he had asked. It's incredible to him that anyone can do that sort of job, day in and day out, seeing the horrors people are capable of committing. It's such a far cry from what he's done, even if they are both dangerous in their own ways, simply because there's never any reason to doubt or worry when it comes to demons. There's no grey area, it's all black and white, made very clear. Except even that isn't entirely true, he thinks, smiling very slightly. Because he is part demon now. Simon, Magnus, Maia and Bat. All the wolves and warlocks he's known and those he's loved, they're all demons, too, through no fault of their own, and that's where the grey area begins.
Of course, he would be inclined to say wolves and warlocks, at least, are more human than demon. Sometimes he doesn't know if the same can be said for the vampires and the fey, not when they're often so willing to cast aside any pretense of care for humans, but that doesn't apply to everyone. Nothing can apply to an entire population, there are no hard and fast rules everyone will live by. The Fair Folk might come closest, with their inability to lie, but he knows they've found ways around that by mixing faery and human blood.
"But you found her," he says. "And you were safe." As far as Luke can determine, those really the most important things. Reid had done what he could to bring the girl home and he's still here to tell the tale, so Luke can't really look at the story as having an unhappy ending. Not when it's given him this.
"No," he says, still smiling. "No, I don't mind. A story from my dangerous job..." He trails off and is silent for a moment, thinking. With Valentine as his parabatai, there is really a countless number of stories he could tell, but he settles on one within a few moments.
"Valentine, the man who set me up to get bitten, before that all happened, he was still a bit of a zealot. In the beginning, when he wanted to hunt Downworlders, he would always tell us they'd done something awful. Broken the Accords in some way," he says, telling the story slowly, carefully. Knowing it doesn't cast him in the best light and telling it anyway. "Looking back now I realize he was lying to us, but I wanted so badly to have someone to follow and the Clave, the system he was railing against, it was corrupt. It still is." But they'd all been so wrong in the way in which they had gone about their attacks.
"He told us once that he found a group of werewolves who were living outside the Accords. Attacking other wolves, attacking vampires, attacking humans. He told us they were mostly teenagers, barely a fight at all. We were supposed to find their base and arrest them. Take them into the Clave for a trial and sentencing," Luke says. "But when we got there, the base was heavily guarded with dozens of adult male wolves. We should have retreated, but Valentine pushed us forward, made us attack. We weren't there to arrest anyone and he knew it from the start. It was a brutal fight, but it was short. At the end all the wolves were dead and we'd lost four Shadowhunters, too. He had dragged us into that situation knowing some of us were going to die." Luke pauses, then looks at his cake. "That's when I realized what he was doing to us."