It made her smile to hear Spencer admit his feelings so. He was her friend and she valued her friends’ happiness greatly. So often, at home, though she happily walked on her own path, it seemed a normal life was not for her. She could not be a girl, or even simply a princess. She carried her mantle of uncanniness, of strangeness, and others viewed her as separate. So when some strapping farmer caught Begu’s eye, or when Cian went into battle and came back bathed in glory, Hild thrilled to listen and rejoice with them. On the path she walked, her own feelings were neutral; theirs were important.
Hearing the hesitation and uncertainty in Spencer’s voice, Hild forged ahead, believing it all the more important that he act. Questioning oneself was normal. Hild had seen every man and woman do it. But, on the battlefield as well as life, timing was important. Waiting too long to act could ruin one’s chances just as much as not waiting long enough. You had to wait until the moment was ripe and grasp at it confidently. Hild did not know the time frame for Spencer and Luke. Perhaps they had many months before unrequited feelings would be tempered, before someone else forced one or the other’s eye. But she did not think there was enough reason to wait.
“Spencer,” she began, “if someone gives you many books, as a gift, but you only want one, is the gift ruined? If I were to tell you right now that I am in love with you, would it ruin our friendship?” She did not wait for a response. “No. You would still want me as a friend, would you not? The reasons we are friends, they have not changed. I am still the same person. My feelings would be feelings I had before I expressed them to you. They existed even if you did not know about them. Even if he did not care for you in the same way - which I know is not the case - he is your friend and cares for you enough that he would not lose you for this.”
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Hearing the hesitation and uncertainty in Spencer’s voice, Hild forged ahead, believing it all the more important that he act. Questioning oneself was normal. Hild had seen every man and woman do it. But, on the battlefield as well as life, timing was important. Waiting too long to act could ruin one’s chances just as much as not waiting long enough. You had to wait until the moment was ripe and grasp at it confidently. Hild did not know the time frame for Spencer and Luke. Perhaps they had many months before unrequited feelings would be tempered, before someone else forced one or the other’s eye. But she did not think there was enough reason to wait.
“Spencer,” she began, “if someone gives you many books, as a gift, but you only want one, is the gift ruined? If I were to tell you right now that I am in love with you, would it ruin our friendship?” She did not wait for a response. “No. You would still want me as a friend, would you not? The reasons we are friends, they have not changed. I am still the same person. My feelings would be feelings I had before I expressed them to you. They existed even if you did not know about them. Even if he did not care for you in the same way - which I know is not the case - he is your friend and cares for you enough that he would not lose you for this.”