It all seemed to come back to Valentine somehow. His mother and father kept that part of themselves well hidden, never discussing it with any of their children. Alec honestly wondered if they even talked about it when they were alone. It didn't seem like a subject anyone was proud of no matter what the whole thing had started out as. All Alec knew was that there were personal stakes involved when it came to Valentine. Personal stakes for his parents, personal stakes for Jace and Clary, and personal stakes for Luke and the other former members of the Circle.

It all came back to Valentine.

Alec curled the fingers one hand into a fist, upset that he couldn't be there with his family to take the fight to Valentine. He didn't want to think of the destruction that could be going on while he was here, sitting at a holiday dinner, powerless to help.

"I don't think she forgives herself for a lot of things," Alec said quietly, forcing his fingers loose again. He pressed them down against his jeans, pale against dark. "She doesn't talk to me about anything like that, though. Neither does my dad. I feel like I barely know them lately. There's always Clave business or Institute business so they're busy and I'm busy and I just don't know what's going on with them at all."