[july 12]

[youfeelluckypunk]

It'd happened all too quickly, having barely begun before it was already over, but the incident has left Reid with butterfly stitches at his temple, a bruised cheek, and a headache that hasn't gone away even after taking a hot shower and changing into a shirt that isn't bloodstained. Reid can't blame the man who'd done it; after all, an emotional outburst from Frank Hansen was to be expected when he'd suddenly appeared at the scene of his own wife's death, the sound of his anguished cry echoing between the walls of alley and overpowering the chatter of the crowd behind the crime scene tape.

Clank had tried to stop him, but the strength of a person suffering from a fresh loss is not to be underestimated, and Mr. Hansen had pushed past the tape and Clank and the other officer on duty before reaching Reid. He'd held his hands up in front of him, a calming gesture that never seems to do its job, and had received one punch, then another, then a rough shove into the brick wall to his left for his trouble.

In all honesty, the worst part about this ordeal hadn't even been the forced visit to the hospital. The worst part is that he'd been due at Luke's over an hour ago because it's his friend's birthday, one he'd promised to help celebrate nearly a month ago, and he hadn't wanted to explain via text the reason for why he's late so Reid is sure Luke must be thinking awfully poorly of him right about now.

As soon as he's straightened his tie in the mirror, poked at the tiny bandage strips on his face with a grimace, and patted down his hair for the eight time in the mirror, he rushes out of his apartment while shooting a quick text out to let Luke know he's finally on his way.

He has a wrapped gift in one hand and a cake, an ice cream cake with a wolf in icing on it, a custom request that hadn't gotten him so much as a raised eyebrow, sitting in a bag hanging from the other, and it's well past closing time for the store so Reid goes straight up the stairs and knocks on the door to Luke's apartment. There's a part of him that's worried that Luke has already left his place, already fed up with how late Reid is, but he reminds himself that there's little to no chance of that. They'd made plans and maybe Reid has been called away to a crime scene once or twice already, but Luke keeps agreeing to see him, and they keep having a great time together, all of which contributes to just how much harder Reid has to try to tell himself that he doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize this friendship. Namely, anything that would indicate that what he's been growing to feel for Luke isn't just friendly.

When the door opens, he breathes a silent sigh of relief and smiles, momentarily forgetting what had made him so tardy in the first place. He'd already texted Luke a happy birthday this morning, accompanied by a smiley face that had seemed innocuous enough, but he says it again now as he holds the bag containing the cake up for his friend to see. "Hi. Happy birthday, I'm sorry again that I'm late, I just-- There was this thing that happened at the crime scene, and-- well, obviously, I guess, but anyway... Yeah. Happy birthday."

Comments

[notaretriever]

This is a moment, Luke can feel it. It's simmering just under the surface of everything they say and do, it's the moment where he's supposed to find some hidden reserve of courage and push himself away from the corner of the couch to catch his fingers against the edge of Reid's jaw. Over the course of his life he's had so few of these moments, but he knows well enough to recognize it for what it is. And yet just as he lets himself begin to feel it, just as he begins to recognize it for what it is and dig deep to find that courage, he feels a flicker of doubt. Reid is looking at him, holding his gaze, and Luke is looking back, but it doesn't have to mean anything. He says he needs to narrow his audience to the ones he cares to hear laugh and there's one part of Luke's brain telling him it means something, but the other part is louder. The part saying it's only a friendly gesture is the one that wins.

It's the one that always wins and Luke closes his eyes briefly, wishing he could just let himself believe. There have been moments in the past where he's let himself believe he might deserve something good and in those moments the good thing has always been taken from him. Snatched away, not in a manner that's particularly cruel, but gently, in a way that's made the sting especially memorable. None of this is Reid's fault, none of this is information he could know, but it makes Luke cautious in a way that perhaps isn't fair. He's afraid, though. In the end it all comes back to fear and he wishes he could be stronger. That he could finally beat his fear.

But for all that he was convinced there had been a moment between him, he can't make himself act and now the moment is gone. He smiles, though, when he opens his eyes again and glances over at Reid, because more than anything he desperately does not want to lose this burgeoning friendship. If he's never allowed to make a move toward something more, he'll accept that fate if it means he's still allowed these nights where he sits on his couch with Reid, the two of them laughing and smiling. This is what he needs desperately and maybe he needs so much more than this, too, but if he's allowed either only friendship or nothing, he'll pick friendship every time. He's not prepared to lose this. Not now, not after feeling like he's really connected to someone who trusts him.

"So karaoke for me and an open mic night for you?" he asks, looking amused as he tries to calm the racing of his heart. "That's something I think I'd very much like to see and you might even get me up on a stage to sing in exchange. Maybe." He feels comfortable saying this only because he truly doubts Reid is going to be willing to get up and perform stand-up comedy, not that Luke could blame him. He's a leader in a good number of ways and has no problem speaking to a crowd when it's necessary, but being the centre of attention in a manner that's meant strictly for entertainment leaves him with a creeping feeling of discomfort. It's just not the sort of thing he's cut out for, being in the limelight, and it's something he'll continue to avoid as fervently as possible.

"Thank you for this," he says after another moment, though he's looked up toward his ceiling again. Their friendship is already strong, he really believes that, but Reid makes him nervous regardless. He makes Luke feel like a silly, fumbling teenager who doesn't know what to do around another person, and while there's a part of him that relishes that, there's another, deeper part that's still just afraid. "For the cake and the gift and mostly for coming to spend the evening with me. I'm having a good time."

[youfeelluckypunk]

"If watching me bomb and run off the stage in a room full of people is your pleasure then sure, open mic night for me it is," Reid says, shaking his head in his amusement. There's not a chance in the world he'd be willing to do something like that, there's nothing about the thought of being scrutinized by strangers that sounds appealing to him; but he can take comfort in knowing that Luke would never publicly do karaoke, either, so they're about on the same level here. "Private comedy act, maybe, with the world's densest jokes, in exchange for a sing-along. Maybe. Possible Christmas gift exchange, anyway."

It's a little strange to realize that he's already accepted a future here, even if it's uncertain, but Reid isn't as at odds with the idea as he'd been in the first weeks of being here. It's easier to let something like that settle when others are going through the same thing, he supposes, but he knows he also owes a lot of that to Luke.

"And you don't need to thank me," he continues, and he means it because he feels as if he should be the one thanking Luke for allowing this evening to be possible at all. It's Luke's birthday, he could be doing anything with anyone else, but Reid can't help but be privately pleased that his friend had chosen to stay in with him instead. "I'm having a good time, too. Quiet celebrations are the better choice, in my opinion, but I'm sure that wouldn't surprise you."

The team had always gone out of their way to celebrate Reid's birthday, even if it meant postponing for after a case, and he'd never really been all too certain whether that was because he was the baby of the group or because every single one of them had understood just how important it was to him to know that they would remember it. A bit of both, most likely, but Reid had always appreciated it. Some years, his mother would forget in the midst of having an episode, and he'd never resented her for that but it'd become easy to think that the day didn't really matter, in the grand scheme of things.

He hopes that even with just a cake and a small gift and some good conversation on the couch, this is notable for Luke. It's notable for Reid, at least, and he's beginning to think that he's not alone in that the more they spend time together. It's all hope he has to believe is false until proven otherwise or he'll drive himself mad, but he's happy to do that if it means this friendship can continue to grow. It's not just the best thing about being in Darrow anymore, knowing Luke; it's becoming one of the best things for him, period. There's something a little frightening about that but with a new world comes new experiences, and Reid is finding that it's much better to embrace the change.