[turkey day, nov 21]

[youfeelluckypunk]

They've graciously been invited to Derek's Thanksgiving celebration on the actual day itself, but Reid had gotten to thinking after Luke had told him of the invitation that it would be nice to throw a small get-together of their own. Halloween at the bookstore had been a success, after all, and in spite of the fact that they'd been sent to a hellish version of Darrow for the next ten days, Reid had really enjoyed planning and decorating for the holiday with his boyfriend. In a way, it also serves as a bit of a housewarming, even if nobody else needs to know that. They've been officially living together for a week now, though the only real difference is that he's handed over his keys to the Dimera apartment back to the landlord.

Still, being able to call this apartment home, knowing that he gets to spend every night with the man he loves, it means something special to him, and he wants to share that sense of home with the rest of the people he cares about.

So he sends out texts to Alec and Magnus, Peter and Jason and Hild, telling them all to save the date for the twenty-first so they can have an early Thanksgiving celebration. Others are welcome, of course, and Reid suspects they'll have more than enough food because he'd made arrangements for one restaurant in particular (one that he visits often and had already been promoting take-out for Thanksgiving Day) to set him up with a turkey dinner early. There are all the expected fixings, though he'd ordered four turkeys because Luke still needs to eat more to make up for all the weight he'd lost in the alternate version of Darrow, plus a couple pumpkin pies and various other desserts strewn out across the table. The wine Peter had given to him on Halloween is out, available for consumption to those who want it, but Reid will be sticking to water tonight.

If anyone asks, he's been slaving away in the kitchen all day long, brewing coffee after coffee as he and Luke make sure everything looks nice and neat for their first Thanksgiving dinner together. The food is set out over the counter in the kitchen, china and utensils and glassware placed at the very end so people can take what they want and find a place to eat in the living room, where they've placed extra chairs, and it isn't until they hear the first knock at the door that Reid finally decides he's satisfied with the way everything looks.

Every single person who will be here tonight has been through so much, seen more than one person ever should, but tonight, Reid is just grateful that they're all still here.

Comments

[deflectere]

Shadowhunters didn't tend to celebrate many holidays. Their celebrations tended to be reserved for Christmas, weddings, births and battles won. Alec knew about Thanksgiving and he'd lived in New York long enough to have chased a demon through the city's big parade but the Lightwoods had never been the type to sit around the table with a bunch of food on the table, talking and enjoying togetherness.

Alec assumed that any attempts at that would have made for a quiet dinner. Isabelle would try but Alec wouldn't want to talk and Alec couldn't imagine his parents trying to engage them past some very superficial small talk.

Maybe this thing wouldn't be quite so cold and distant. Maybe there'd actually be talking. Alec wasn't sure how much of that talking he would do but he was still there. Dressed in a battered, fraying sweater and jeans, he was standing awkwardly at the door, hands tucked in his pockets and shoulders hunched against the chill of the day.

[paper_courage]

Peter's on his way back toward the door to hang his coat up when he sees a boy he doesn't recognize standing by the door. Spencer had talked about who would be invited and Jason has described Alex before, but Peter doesn't necessarily want to assume, so he approaches with a smile.

"Hi, I don't think we've met. I'm Peter," Peter can't help but nearly chirp as he holds out a hand. This is supposed to be a night of family and Peter wants to fill it with all of the patience and warmth of the Thanksgivings he shared with his mother -- the ones that were just the two of them and definitely not the ones where his father or anyone else was there. Especially for Jason's sake.

He looks uncomfortable, Peter notes, and Peter had felt some apprehension on his way over, as well, a sort of imposter syndrome. He still can hardly believe that he's (in a strange, baby steps kind of way) out with his boyfriend for their second holiday as a couple. Maybe even this time, Jason would kiss Peter.

[deflectere]

It's still a new thing, being in a place where mundanes are so willing to approach him because they can actually see him. There were very few Sighted mundanes in Manhattan which meant Alec's dealings with them were very few and very far between.

It was a different story in Darrow.

When Peter stopped in front of him, all smiles and friendly gestures, Alec stared for a moment before he realized what he was doing and extended his hand to give Peter's a shake.

"We haven't met, no," he said, finding his voice. He cleared his throat to dissolve the scratchiness there. "I'm Alec. I know Luke and Reid. And Magnus."

Alec assumed that Magnus had been making friends left and right, ingratiating himself into Darrow a lot easier than Alec had been. He had the natural ability to charm and put people at ease that Alec did not have.

"Have you been here long?" he asked, gesturing around. "Darrow, I mean."

[paper_courage]

Peter's face lights up with familiarity when Alec introduces himself. "Alec, you're a friend of Jason's! He's my--" Ah. Well. Here they are. Most people here already know what the nature of Peter and Jason's relationship is and really, they haven't been so subtle since arriving in Darrow, but Jason is still not technically out. Sure, they held hands at Halloween, stole kisses that pretended innocence. But Jason's life was ruined by being outed before he was ready and Peter is not going to be the source of that.

"We know each other from home," he concludes, forcing a little smile that doesn't even reach his eyes. Still, extroverted Peter is excited to be meeting a friend of Jason's and the fact that he's a friend of Luke's and Spencer's and Magnus, that's even better.

"I've only been here a couple months. I met Spencer on the first day and then I met Luke and Magnus at the Greymark Halloween party." As he talks, it gets easier to relax, especially since they seem to have a lot of people in common. "How about you? Have you been here long? You know Luke and Magnus from home, right?"

[deflectere]

Darrow was proving to be a place where Alec experienced a lot of firsts. Having someone recognize his name just because someone else had talked him about had never actually happened to him before. Oftentimes, he thought himself not memorable enough to warrant further conversation but apparently not.

"Jason yeah, I met him his first day here," Alec recalled, nodding. It was a hard thing to forget, coming across someone who was that shell shocked, that out of sorts. The next time he'd seen Jason, he'd looked much better, more animated and a lot happier.

Whether that was because of Peter wasn't for Alec to say.

"I've been here a few months," he answered, nodding. He'd been expecting to be here a matter of days but finding a way out, a way home proved to be difficult. Near impossible. "And yeah, I know Luke and Magnus. Luke knew my parents and Magnus is a..."

He trailed off and glanced Magnus's way, thoughtful. It occurred to him that he was doing the exact same thing Peter had done when talking about Jason. "He's a friend. He's done some work for my parents too."

He was being deliberately vague since he wasn't sure just how much Magnus or Luke had told Peter about themselves. They were much more flexible with revealing the Shadow World than he was so he was careful until he knew what he was dealing with.

[paper_courage]

Overall, Peter comes from a place filled to the brim with excitement, good and bad. For him, Catholic school had been a whirlwind of exams, parties and a sort of teeming, buzzing repression that brought fear with it. That fear, though, was never real enough to outweigh the merits of misbehaving. After all, there was something thrilling about being caught, whether it was sneaking out to a rave in the church's van or whispering wicked promises by moonlight. The students at St. Cecilia's were engaged in a full-scale revolt that none of them ever had the courage to bring to light. It had even cost them one of their own and Peter was taken from that world before he could find out if he'd affected any change at all.

Here is Alec, a younger man like Peter and he seems to be excited about not much at all. Peter knows a little by way of his conversations with Luke and Magnus on Halloween, but what he doesn't know far, far outweighs what he does, he would bet. He's okay with that. Peter is nothing if not adaptable (and utterly bewildered).

It's hard not to notice a familiar pause to choose words carefully, but Peter does his best not to assume; this is made much easier by the fact that every time Peter attempts to understand the place where his new friends came from, his head nearly explodes. He's happy to absorb little bits where he can, even the institutionalized schoolboy.

"I met him on Halloween," Peter recalls, nodding to Magnus. "He's really cool. I've never met anyone like him." He laughs. He doesn't mean as a-- whatever he is, but more as an individual. Magnus is in a new class and Peter appreciates the flair that gets added to a room when Magnus is in it. He also has a feeling that they have much more in common than just their outgoing personalities. "He said Luke tends to adopt people and I think that may have happened with Jason and me."

[deflectere]

"There's really no one like Magnus. He'd probably tell you the exact same thing if he hasn't already," Alec said, sounding as close to fond as he could. He continued to be careful with his words, not wanting to give out a lot of details on who Magnus was since it wasn't his place. It doesn't surprise him that Magnus has already made friends, has already made people love him with a few smiles and his indelible charm.

Alec wanted to ask what Magnus had said about him, what he might have revealed but he didn't. Magnus wouldn't have overstepped any boundaries, wouldn't have told anyone more about Alec than Alec himself would do himself. Still, he wondered what they might have talked about and he wondered why it made him feel...almost good that Magnus did talk about him with others. He'd always thought of himself as Magnus's secret, as a dalliance in the unfamiliar that ended as soon as Darrow had swallowed him up.

"I wouldn't be surprised if Luke had adopted you," Alec mused, letting a small, brief smile cross his face. Luke's apartment was like a wayward home for the lost. Back home, it had been Clary and Simon and here, it was Peter and Jason and...himself. Even if Alec knew he could take care of himself, didn't need anyone to help him, Luke had stepped up anyway and he and Reid had provided support and care and just their presence even when he'd rejected it loudly. "He did that back home a lot. Many people slept on his couch and ate his food. He never seemed to mind either."

[youfeelluckypunk]

Alec's standing at the door the way Reid might have stood at any other's, hands tucked in his pockets and shoulders slumped awkwardly, as if he's waiting for someone to tell him to leave. Sighing to himself, Reid squares his own shoulders and offers Alec a smile as he walks over to him, gesturing for him to enter the apartment without sparing another thought.

"Hey, Happy Thanksgiving," he greets, very nearly reaching out to place a hand on Alec's back. Reid hesitates for a moment, unsure of whether the touch would even be welcome; but what had happened in the other version of Darrow is still fresh in his mind, the memory of Alec being< there to shoot Tobias even though they hadn't coordinated any actual plan of attack, and even if it means nothing to Alec, it does mean something to him. So he carries on, pressing a hand against him and gently leading him toward the kitchen. It's not as if this is the first time Alec has been here, but it is the first time since Reid had moved in, and there's something about it that feels different. Maybe it's knowing that he can say Alec is always welcome in what can now officially be called his home.

"There's a lot of food," he says, almost apologetically, as he gestures at the spread on the counter. "I've never actually hosted one of these things before, I didn't know how much would actually be appropriate. But this seems okay, don't you think?"

There are a few other turkeys hidden from view so at the very least, Reid is certain Luke won't complain.

[deflectere]

Half expecting the touch, Alec doesn't stiffen or flinch or pull away when the touch comes. It's warm and guiding, nothing like the knife against his throat or the fingers coated with fire that had been pressed against his chest in the ash covered city from a few weeks ago. It's a gesture that Luke's used with him a few times and it's not a surprise that Reid does the same.

So, Alec accepts it quietly but gratefully. He let Reid guide him into the kitchen, eyes taking in the spread. He'd seen massive quantities of food before but they'd been contained to celebrations after battle victories and the occasional wedding. This was a celebration of something entirely different and he can't stop the small growl his stomach gives at the smell.

"That's a lot of food," Alec observed with a nod and a glance over at Reid. "Did you make all this yourself? You and Luke?"

Neither of them looked like cooks to him but the same could be said of Isabelle and she loved spending time in the Institute's kitchen. Her creations were terrible but he couldn't deny how light she looked and how much enjoyment she seemed to get out of creating something that was truly awful.

[youfeelluckypunk]

Reid has to laugh outright at the suggestion that either he or Luke had even come close to having anything to do with making the food spread out on the counter. Shaking his head, he reaches for a plate to hand to Alec, still laughing a little as he gestures to the turkey. "No, not even in the slightest," he admits, "neither of us are what you'd called skilled in the kitchen."

They're disaster, both of them, but lately Luke's been trying harder. Groceries are more abundant as opposed to the basics of milk and bread and eggs, though those are certainly still staples of their shopping list. More and more often, Reid finds himself waking up to his boyfriend making breakfast and a few times, he's even been sent off to work with a sandwich to accompany his kiss. It's awfully charming, really, that Luke has taken a step out of a comfort zone that mostly involves ordering out in an effort to do more with the food they have here at home. At some point, Reid knows he'll have to step up, too; but seeing as he doesn't want to risk accidentally giving his boyfriend food poisoning, he hasn't yet made any real attempts.

"Luke does make a very good sandwich," Reid advises, "if you're ever so inclined to ask him for one. But that doesn't exactly equate to a full turkey dinner. I will be reaping the benefits of leftovers, though, if we even have any when the night is over."

[deflectere]

Alec took the plate, holding it carefully so as not to spill anything on Luke's floor. The food smelled amazing and Alec felt his mouth water slightly. He couldn't actually remember the last time he'd had a really good meal. He barely eaten anything when they'd been in that other place and only Luke's urging had made him even grab some water.

"Isabelle likes to cook," he shared, bringing his eyes back up to Reid. "She's not good at it but she tries."

He didn't know where Isabelle's love of cooking had come from because neither of his parents had spent any time in the kitchen from what he could remember. That thought almost made him laugh, imaging either of the Lightwood parents over a stove, trying to make a meal just right.

It would never happen. There were more important things to attend to than cooking.

"I doubt I'd even be able to make a sandwich," he said, shaking his head. "We just tend to go to Taki's."

[youfeelluckypunk]

He softens a bit at Alec's mention of his sister, if only because the part of him that wishes Isabelle could be here is also the part that wishes his mom could be here, too. It's been difficult since coming back from that twisted version of Darrow, he's found himself waking up in the middle of the night with his mom's words echoing in his mind--

(Is this real? Am I real?)

--but being able to look over and see Luke there, to touch him and know that his boyfriend helps to make every bit of fear and pain that's carried over from the other Darrow worth it, has helped tremendously. He would have been alone otherwise, alone in an apartment that had never felt like this own; but he's here now. He and Luke share this place together, this is their home, and there's something awfully comforting about knowing that he'll always have somewhere to go and someone to go home to at the end of the day.

"Well, she'd have been more than welcome to try her hand at it," Reid says, which may or may not be true but in any case, neither he nor Luke had figured they should even bother trying themselves; otherwise, it would have been as Alec said, and this Thanksgiving dinner would be taking place at one of the few restaurants that have been kept open today.

"There's wine, too," he continues, gesturing at where it's set up closer to the living room. Peter had brought him the wine as a gift on Halloween, but Reid had figured it would finds its greatest use here with people more likely to drink it, since he never would have himself. Luke has taken it upon himself to abstain from drinking, as well, at least in Reid's presence, which really isn't necessary but is yet another thing to add to why he loves his boyfriend so very much.

Slipping his hands in his pockets, Reid bites down on his lip, tilting his head just slightly. "So, you've been alright? I mean... I know it's not the first time we've seen each other since, you know, but you're doing okay? You know you're always welcome to stay here, right? It's not an offer that comes with an expiration date."

[deflectere]

Picturing Isabelle here, in Luke's kitchen, was both strange and comforting. He'd only see her cooking in the Institute's kitchen, never anywhere else. He doubted she made dinner or breakfast for any of her dates and he didn't think she'd ever been at Luke's place in Manhattan long enough for any cooking to happen.

Having her here, having her here and cooking, would have been an immense comfort to Alec but it would have just seemed out of place. She was born for the big cities and the people within. She was born to be the center of attention, people revolving around her like she was the sun and while she could have had that here, Alec wasn't sure if she'd want. No matter how much he wanted her to be here, he didn't want her unhappy.

"I'm all right," Alec said, shaking thoughts of Isabelle away for the moment. He focused back on Luke and their surroundings. "I'm fine. I've just been trying to move on past what happened. To forget it."

That plan of action had...well, it worked and then it didn't work. Sometimes, he was definitely fine. He was slick and smooth, graceful and quiet, and he could work without seeing the faces of his family etched in hatred. Other times, that was all that he could think about. He'd tried to immerse himself in hunting, in learning but there were only so many distractions he could find before he did something stupid.

Good thing that had already happened. Alec still felt guilt over that whole encounter.

"I'm good," he said again, nodding. It was both a lie and the truth. Some days were better than others. Some days, he was the Alec he'd been before that other Darrow. Other days, he hated himself more and more each minute. "What about you?"

[notaretriever]

It doesn't surprise Luke for a moment that the place he finds Alec is hovering near the door and he disappears into the kitchen to set down the dish he'd been carrying, then reappears a moment later near Alec's side, taking him by the shoulders so he can lead him gently into the room full of food and people. It's more food than anything and Luke thinks he should be embarrassed, but he's more than capable of finishing the leftovers. He also thinks it's tradition to send some home with their guests, but he wonders how many of those traditions were created without werewolves being involved.

Ever since they'd come home from that alternate version of Darrow, Luke hasn't been able to stop eating. He's gained back some of the weight he'd lost over the course of those ten days and doesn't look nearly as tired anymore. His werewolf metabolism has never been such an issue before and he hopes it's an experience that never needs to be repeated.

"Come," he says in a low voice, guiding Alec toward the couch. "Sit. Do you want coffee or tea?" It turns out he's not such a terrible host when it comes to dinners and events like this. Luke loves having the people he cares about around him, he likes making them comfortable and happy, and it turns out that translates fairly well into hosting dinners.

[deflectere]

Alec had seen Luke coming his way and he knew that he wasn't going to be able to stand near the door for much longer. He knew that he wasn't going to be able to spend this day being distant and aloof so it's no surprise when Luke guided him further into the living area and made him sit down.

Alec sat down carefully, trying not to take up too much space with his long arms and legs. This wasn't a huge party, nothing like he'd been to before, but Alec was never going to be an expert party goer. He would always be the type to stand off to the side and wait for his friends to be done so they could go home.

"Coffee," Alec answered, glancing up at Luke and shaking his head. "You don't have to get it for me, though. I can do it. I can make a cup of coffee. It looks like you have a lot going on."

The house smelled of meat and vegetables, of sweet and savory, and even Alec could admit it smelled good. Isabelle's meals tended to fall on the side of...not so good. Home cooked meals weren't a common thing in the New York Institute unless people were feeling brave enough to eat Izzy's cooking.

[notaretriever]

At that Luke gives a little snort of laughter before he goes to the side table where they've arranged the coffee and tea. When he returns he has a mug for Alec and a little pitcher of cream and a bowl of sugar if he wants. Setting those on the coffee table in front of him, Luke then sinks down beside him and looks over with a faint smile.

"We ordered it all in," he admits. "Which is to say we really don't have that much going on at all. It looks busier than it is, but all I've really done all day is make a pot of coffee and brew the tea. And I suppose I put out the plates and utensils, but my idea of cooking is frying some eggs, which I don't think is quite what people are looking for when they're invited for a Thanksgiving dinner."

But the apartment is warm and smells of good food and there are people here Luke cares about, which he thinks is what's expected when it comes to Thanksgiving dinner. If the food has been prepared by someone else, he doesn't think that's such a terrible thing.

[deflectere]

"This is more than I've ever seen and done," Alec said and didn't think he needed to say anymore. Luke had been a Shadowhunter at one time, he knew what holidays were celebrated and which weren't. Luke also knew his parents probably in ways Alec never would so he knew what they were like and how they raised their children.

"This kind of holiday would be Izzy's dream," he commented, reaching for the mug so he could make up his own coffee. He needed a coffee maker. Coffee was one of those mundane things he actually liked. He liked waking up in the morning and having something hot to drink. He liked the smell and the taste and he hadn't had a really good coffee in awhile.

"She'd have wanted to cook," he said fondly, half smiling down at his mug. "You wouldn't have wanted that."

[notaretriever]

"I don't know, I don't think that would be such a bad thing," Luke says with a grin. He doesn't know Isabelle well at all, he only really knows that she's striking like her mother, that she and Alec are incredibly close, that she's one hell of a Shadowhunter and, if what Clary says is to believed, is more or less perfect in a way that seemed to at first inspire jealousy. That had changed, though, he'd watched it change. He'd watched Clary go from looking envious at the mere mention of Isabelle's name to looking faintly pleased every time they were in the same company.

So he doesn't know her well, but he tries to imagine her bustling around the kitchen trying to cook, and whether or not it would be edible, it's a fairly nice image all the same. It would make Alec happy and that's really what Luke would prefer.

"Your sister is pretty strong willed, isn't she?" he asks, knowing full well she is. Maryse had been like that, too, and he'd always liked it about her until all her strength had been directed toward helping Valentine. Before the Circle, though, Maryse had been likely to snap off an insult as quick as anyone, though usually only when it was well deserved.

So much has changed. Their friendships have been altered irrevocably, by Valentine, by the Circle, by their own decisions and by his bite. Even here, he doubts it's anything they would ever return to.

[deflectere]

"She can bring Jace to his knees if she wants to," Alec said and figured that was explanation enough on how strong Isabelle was. Besides their mother, she was the only girl in an Institute full of males. She'd had to be strong, had to be confident to be able to hold her own and she'd done that over and over and over again. Alec knew she took after their mother in both looks, skill and demeanor but Alec found himself secretly glad that she wasn't as severe as their mother.

His mother had been like that for nearly the entirety of his life. She was caring and loving but never overly demonstrative. Alec absolutely knew she loved him and he was always well cared for no matter how busy his mother might be with her duties as both as Shadowhunter and a leader of the Institute.

"Did you and my parents ever have a dinner like this?" Alec wondered curiously. The Circle didn't really seem like a group who would sit down to dinner and talk about the day that had just happened but they had spent a lot of time together and Alec couldn't help but wonder what those times had been like.

[high_warlock]

"Are you coming or going?" Magnus teased gently as he went to join Alec. Each ringed hand held a mug of steaming coffee and he offered one out.

Holidays were difficult times for many. Magnus had long ago cut ties with his family, had them cut for him, and the wounds had healed over into faded scars. He did not miss them, especially not during modern, thoroughly American holidays. But, despite his own presence and Luke's, and despite knowing the kind of family the Lightwoods were, Magnus worried that Alec might be feeling a little more distanced from the world than usual.

"I suggest staying because there will be pie. Always stay long enough for pie."

[deflectere]

"If I was going, I'd be gone," Alec said, taking the mug of coffee with both hands. The warmth seemed to seep into him slowly. Fingers, palms, hands, wrists, arms and on and on. He watched the dark liquid move about inside the mug before he brought it to his lips to sip.

"I'm not staying for the pie, though," he said, shaking his head. He was staying because he wanted to stay. The food was nice and it was definitely more food than he'd seen in a long, long while but it wasn't his reason for being here. Luke and Reid had asked and Alec had wanted to come. Despite some of his horrible recent decisions that had left him with doubt and the thought that he deserved to be alone, he'd managed to push through that so he could be here today.

"Thank you," he added, nodding down at the coffee. "I need to buy a better coffeemaker."

[high_warlock]

"My pleasure," Magnus murmured. He cradled his own mug with two hands down and gazed thoughtfully at Alec. It was a small, silly thing, but he found himself talking despite knowing better. "You're welcome to come by and use mine any time you like. I might have gone overboard in trying to outfit my apartment."

He had gone overboard, this was true, but he had bought the coffeemaker purely for sentimental reasons, purely because thoughts of waking up to the scent and sound of Alec making coffee in the kitchen had nagged at him until he'd bought something shiny.

Magnus took a steadying sip of coffee and continued, quirking a brow. "Does pie offend you? Is that why you're skipping out?"

[deflectere]

The offer wasn't surprising but Alec still glanced up, uncertain if Magnus was teasing him or was actually serious. That question was answered as soon as Alec really looked at him. He was serious. Magnus would welcome him over to his apartment anytime just to make coffee.

Alec found that he didn't entirely hate the idea. In fact, he didn't hate it at all.

"I might do that," he said, shrugging one shoulder. "Maybe if I'm heading home from somewhere late at night or early in the morning and your apartment's closer. I'd wake you up if I did that."

He took another few sips of the coffee, picturing just how...extravagant Magnus's apartment might look already. His own place was spare and utilitarian with very little of his own things taking up space there.

"I never said I was skipping out on pie," Alec pointed out. "Just that I wasn't here for the pie."

[high_warlock]

Much as he wanted to play calm, cool, and collected, Magnus couldn't help the bright shine of excitement in his eyes when Alec took him up on the offer. He had not actually expected anything to come from it, except maybe awkwardness, and instead Alec was describing exactly what Magnus wished would happen.

"I wouldn't mind waking up to you. And coffee." He bit his lip to keep himself from going on with any flirtations that really might cause some embarrassment.

"I'm sure Luke and Spencer are touched by your presence. This is the kind of thing Luke's really suited to. I'm glad he found someone to share it with in Spencer."

[deflectere]

"I'm not that great to wake up to," Alec said shyly. It felt like he was protesting because he had to protest not because he seriously meant it. It was just hard to hear things so complimentary about himself especially as of late.

"We'll see what happens," Alec continued, twisting his mug around in his hands for lack of anything better to do with his hands. He didn't fidget often but when he felt the urge, he was always grateful for something to fidget with.

"I didn't guess this about Luke," admitted Alec, glancing over at both Luke and Reid. "I thought it'd be Jocelyn or no one for him."