"I've never been in any kind of relationship before," Alec said, foregoing the sugar and cream and going with a black coffee today. It wasn't an every occurrence but he just liked coffee period and wanted something stiff and warm right now.

Alec peered down into the coffee, watching the light reflect off the dark surface before shaking himself free of the reverie. He'd never had a relationship before due to his own choosing. He'd been stuck on Jace for years and most of his time had been spent hiding that from everyone (including Jace) and doing his duty as a Shadowhunter. He'd looked at other men but never for very long and never overtly. No one ever knew what he'd wanted except Isabelle.

"I never sought period," he said, shrugging his shoulders. He knew he'd missed a lot but he didn't want to think too much about what he'd done to himself all those years. He was finally breaking away very, very slowly. "I thought I was in love with someone once. Not Magnus, this was before him. It was stupid."